Take The Blame
by BossaNovaBaby24
Summary: After a heated argument with Starbuck, Bill winds up in Life Station, with burdens. Laura tries to help. Adama/Roslin
1. Chapter 1

The guards let him enter immediately.

Kara looked up from her cell. The brig had next to nothing in it, so she wasted time just laying back on her bed, looking at the ceiling and counting the number of times she'd been in that exact spot, since the attacks on the colonies.

_Too many, _she thought wryly, _I should stop frakkin' up so much._

The clang of her cell door brought her out of her reverie and she was surprised when she saw who was visiting her. She wasn't allowed visitors, under express orders of the Admiral and President.

The surprise vanished though, and she looked on in contempt as Admiral Adama moved towards her.

"Admiral," she said, lazily drawing circles in the air, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Adama stopped short of her bed, and looked towards her solemnly. His hands hung in front, clasped tight, and his mouth was set in a tight line. He was in no mood to be messed with, Kara decided, so that's exactly what she'd do.

"The president and I have decided-"

"Ahhh, talking to the President?" Starbuck interrupted, sitting up with great interest now, "time for the airlock already? Don't I get a last meal?"

Adama took a deep breath, and she saw his teeth grit. She was getting to him. Immensely enjoying herself, she carried on;

"So, you're calling me a Cylon right Admiral? Not even bothering to test me or anything? Just straight away, get rid of me? It'd be easier, wouldn't it? You do that a lot with your family members, don't you? Rid yourself of them…"

She saw his jaw clench and his knuckles turned white from the effort of holding back. Starbuck felt a pang of guilt, but it was overridden by anger.

_He should suffer, _She thought spitefully, _he doesn't trust me. ME. If he's not going to play fair, hear me out, then I'm not going to go without a fight._

"You need it," Starbuck looked Adama straight in the eyes, regarding him with a mixture of anger and hurt, "you need to know that it's your entire fault. You want penance. Well admiral _sir_," She raised her hand in mock salute, "you can have it. You forced Zak and Lee into your footsteps. Zak died because of it," Adama's eyes widened slightly, "and Lee, well Lee tried to get out of it, he tried to do what he wanted, and where is he now!? He's in the frakkin' brig on the floor above!" She raised her arms to the ceiling, to emphasise her point, "face it admiral! Everyone you love, you push away. Whether they're in the brig or out the airlock! You've lost your family, and I hope it hurts."

She stood up and faced him, eye to eye.

"Get frakked Admiral," She said, narrowing her eyes and glaring at him, "Unless of course the president already has-"

It happened in a flash. A constriction around her throat. She couldn't breathe. Grappling at what was holding onto her neck, Starbuck was pushed into the cage wall. The admiral loomed above her, his face red with rage, and his teeth bared. He was beyond angry. His fingers tightened as he moved his face closer.

"You are not Starbuck," He grunted angrily, his eyes glittering dangerously. He emphasised his words with squeezes of her throat. Starbuck could not breathe, and her grip on Adama's hand loosened. Her vision started to go blurry and the room around her started to turn to black.

_Well, _she thought morosely, _if I AM a Cylon, I'll find out soon I guess._

Just as this thought passed through her mind, the grip around her throat suddenly ceased. Gasping for air, and sliding down the cage wall, she took the time to recover to look at what happened.

What she saw made her stop breathing, but not because of being strangled. In front of her, Adama lay spread eagle, his face showing great agony. Starbuck shuffled over quickly and screamed to the guards.

"GET COTTLE! NOW! FRAKKIN' HURRY UP!"

Guards entered quickly, and froze at the sight before them. Starbuck was pulling at the Admiral's jacket, screaming with tears starting to stream down her face.

"FRAKKIN' GET COTTLE! HURRY! HE'S COLLAPSED!"

Coming to their senses, the guards quickly phoned life station, and pulled Starbuck away from Adama, kicking and screaming.


	2. Chapter 2

The voices around him sounded so distant. He could hear a faint beeping sound, followed my murmuring. Heavy breathing was prominent and he was unsure whether it was his own or someone else's.

_Where am I? _He thought, _focus Bill, focus. _

He concentrated his effort on the noises around him. The beeping of the machine got louder, and he guessed that he was in the Life Station.

_Did Starbuck hurt me? _He wondered, focusing on the muttering of the people nearby, _did she knock me out?_

The voices became more prominent and he could tell that one of the voices was female, the other male. The female voice was light, but was laden with worry and fatigue. The male voice was rough, but also held traces of nerves.

"- and I don't know young lady, when he'll wake up. Just thank the Gods that he's alive."

With that, footsteps echoed, as the male voice left the room. Curtains were being drawn, he realised, _I must be in pretty bad shape. _

Suddenly, a hand covered his own. His eyes were closed, so he didn't know who it was. The hand was warm, and squeezed his fingers gently, before lightly stroking his wrists. He relaxed to the touch, and found himself wondering who it was.

_Laura. _The name immediately entered his thoughts. _It must be her._

As if to support this sudden recognition, a voice came from next to him.

"Bill, please wake up. Can you hear me Bill?"

That voice. He knew it was Laura. No-one else's voice could hold such qualities combined. Both strict and soothing at once. So many emotions conveyed in that placid tone of hers, and he felt a stab of pride at being the only one in the fleet to be able to bring them all out at once.

His eyes opened on their own accord, hungry for a glance of the president. When he saw her, her eyes looking elsewhere, her mouth humming a tune, his heart leapt in his chest. Almost as if sensing his focus on her, she turned towards him.

Laura's eyes widened in shock. Bill noticed that her hand had not let go of his, and was now smoothing the hairs down on his arm. He smiled, although it took a lot of effort.

_She's worth it, _He thought, grimacing against the pain.

Laura realised the effort he was going to, and felt a lot of affection rise up within her. She smiled slowly in response, and moved her other hand up to place on his forehead.

"Quitters never win, eh Bill?"

"No," He grunted, gritting his teeth as he turned his head slightly. He ached all over, "I'm not in it for the winning though. I'm in it for the being pampered."

Laura laughed, and he saw genuine happiness reflected in her eyes, "And this time, I'm not a fugitive, eh?"

Sensing his sudden withdrawal, she berated herself for bringing it up. She tried to change the subject quickly, before he became sullen.

"Do you know what happened Bill?"

"Not really," He replied gruffly, coughing a few times. The pains in his chest increased, and he gasped for air. Laura suddenly held a glass of water up in front of him, and brought it to his lips. Gratefully draining the glass, he relaxed again and sighed, "I remember Starbuck, then … nothing."

He saw her nod slowly, then look away.

"Well Bill," she spoke slowly, and her hand on his arm moved in rhythm with her voice, "You had a heart attack. According to Cottle, it was mild. Some sort of stressful incident must have triggered it, but of course it is understood that since the trial, everything has been havoc."

She spoke in her presidential tone, but Bill could still pick up that Laura herself was worried. This made him feel slightly better.

"Bill, what did Kara say to you?" She asked suddenly, her gaze focusing on him again, seeking out the truth in his eyes. He sighed, and his eyes closed briefly, before fluttering open again and focusing on the ceiling.

"She was coaxing me, trying to get a reaction I guess."

"You were strangling her." It was not a question, or even a reproach. It was a statement. She let no emotion show in the sentence.

"Thought I could save you the trouble of having to walk to the airlock." He said, trying to lighten the mood. His hand slowly turned over, until their hands were palm to palm. Interlinking his fingers with her own, he gave her hand a small reassuring squeeze.

This seemed to be a grand gesture for Laura, as suddenly she looked away, holding back tears.

"I was worried about you Bill."

"I know." He said softly. Tension hung in the air between them, suffocating them. Suddenly, Laura abruptly stood up. She put a shaky hand through her hair, and remarked;

"You just had to out-do me, didn't you? Couldn't let me have my cancer. No. You had to go have a heart attack."

Bill laughed, puffing. He could only manage a few seconds before the pain started again and he grunted with the exertion. Laura smoothly went to his side again, and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Get better Bill, We need you. I need you."

With that, she drew the curtain back and left, making way for Cottle.


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks had passed, and finally Bill was released from the Life Station. He had wanted to leave the next day, but the tired and strict doctor was having none of it (_"you're going to stay here and frakkin' enjoy it Admiral.")_.

He had spent the first half of his day back at CIC, but was dismissed by his XO as there was no dradis contact, and still there was a pain in his chest. Tigh must have noticed, as he immediately suggested that the Admiral take a couple of hours off. Bill appreciated his friends concern, but was a little put out at not being of any use, after weeks of no work.

He settled onto his sofa, breathing a sigh of relief as the pain dulled. Just as he was getting comfortable however, there was a knock at his hatch.

"Come in," He grunted, moving slightly to make himself comfortable. Laura Roslin cautiously entered the quarters, and stopped when she saw Bill on the sofa.

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything Admiral," She said formally, "but I've got the latest civilian reports on supplies."

She held up a folder, almost apologetically, and Bill smiled.

"Not at all Madame President, come in." Her lips curled upwards into a returning smile, and she shut the hatch carefully, making her way over to the sofa.

Throwing the folder on the coffee table, she sat down neatly next to Bill, crossing her legs and holding her hands in her lap.

Silence settled comfortably on them, as they slowly looked through the papers in the folder. After about half an hour, they had finally finished, making appropriate corrections and discussing the supplies they needed.

"How are you Bill?" She asked softly, propping her head in her hand, and resting her elbow against the top of the couch.

"I'm doing better," He stated, falling backwards and breathing heavily, "It still hurts a little but I think it should go soon."

"Kara is requesting to see you." She turned towards him subtly, trying to gauge his reaction. She noticed him stiffen slightly, and his eyes were glued to a model ship in front of him.

"Is she?" He muttered, "I'll get around to it."

The finality of his tone disappointed Laura, and she tried to keep the conversation up to find out what had transpired between Bill and Kara.

"What did she say Bill? Please tell me." She waited patiently, as he seemed to be caught in an inner battle between Admiral and Bill as to whether or not to tell her. In the end, Bill won out, and he sighed morosely.

"She said that …." He started, only pausing to cough slightly, "that it's my fault. Everything is my fault. Lee, Zak, Carolanne …"

Anger boiled up within Laura. _How dare she? _She thought angrily, _she knows how much Bill blames himself for it all. _

Keeping her face passive however, she replied, "She was trying to hurt you Bill, don't take her seriously."

"She's right though," He argued, pulling himself up the sofa slightly, "Everyone I love has been hurt. Zak's dead, Lee's disowned me, Kara hates me, you-"

He stopped abruptly and looked down at his hands. Laura wanted to laugh.

"You're saying that you're behind my cancer Bill?" She asked him, narrowing her gaze to see what he had to say. He didn't speak, and just sat, his hands clasped together his hand down.

"You're right, you _are _hurting me Bill." She said curtly, trying to catch his gaze.

The last sentence got his attention, and he looked up in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape, "how?"

"By doing this. You take the blame on your shoulders, all by yourself. You're not _Atlas_ Bill, you're a human being. You can't take the world on your shoulders constantly. That hurts me more than the cancer. Let me hold the world with you; let me help you keep it up. You're not on your own."

She stood up, pacing his quarters, all the while talking;

"If you're allowed to take the blame then so am I. It's _my _fault that Billy's dead. The Olympic Carrier? Yes I take blame for that too. Hera being taken by the cylons and the Agathon's being lied to? All me."

She stopped short of the sofa and noticed that Bill was regarding her with an odd expression. Suddenly, without prior warning, he got up from the sofa. Stumbling slightly, he made his way over to Laura, breathing heavily.

Bill took her hands in his, and focused hid gaze on her eyes, before slowly saying;

"Laura. You're not to blame for _any _of that!"

"Neither are you, Bill." Laura replied curtly, pulling her hands back, before placing them lightly on his shoulders.

"Now, let me make this perfectly clear _Admiral_" She murmured, placing emphasis on his title, "If everyone took the blame for everything bad that has happened … we would be completely frakked up right about now. No-one is to blame for _anything._"

Seeing his disbelieving expression, Laura laughed lightly, before drawing him closer.

Bill pulled closer, and kissed Laura lightly on the lips. He pulled away slowly, and saw that her eyes were closed, a smile on her lips. As she opened her eyes, Laura rested her head on his shoulder. They stood for ages like it, basking in each others warm embrace.

"Bill?" Came a muffled voice from his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Can I still blame Baltar?"

"You just said that you don't blame anyone Madame President," He replied in mock seriousness, "So what good reason do you have for blaming him?"

There was silence for a while, before she muttered;

"He's frakkin' weird."

Bill laughed, and Laura soon joined in.


End file.
